Always the New One

Jeremie, 17, and her family move every few years. Along the way, she learned valuable lessons about making friends.

“Starting the school year is always a little overwhelming for everyone. You need your schedule just right. You want to choose the perfect first-day outfit. But on top of that I need to add ‘you don’t know anyone’ to the list every couple of years. My dad serves in the U.S. Army so we’ve had to move a lot. I’ve lived in Germany, Japan, Hawaii, Kansas, South Carolina, Illinois and now in New York. During elementary school and middle school, being new wasn’t that big of a deal because I was in a classroom with the same kids all day. But building friendships in high school has been a little more challenging.

When I went to high school at 14 I felt really intimidated for the first time. We had just moved from Germany to Illinois and I’d spent the summer worrying I was not going to fit in or find any friends. I was afraid I would have to sit alone during lunch for the first few days, feeling sorry for myself. So that’s why I asked my dad for suggestions. He told me just to ask someone if I could sit with them. It sounded easy enough. So the first day I scoped out the cafeteria for open seats and got up the courage to approach a table of people who didn’t seem too closed off. To my surprise, the group said, “Sure, sit here!” Just like that, we started talking about who each of us had for English and the conversation flowed.

My strategy worked out so well that the next day, I decided to try to sit with another group. They told me no - they were saving their empty seat for someone else. But as I finished my lunch alone, I didn’t see anyone actually sitting there. It stung but I didn’t let it show. (Why would I want to hang out with mean people anyway?) After that, I went back to the original crew who’d welcomed me. From then on they were my squad…until I had to move to Brooklyn after a year and a half and start over.

I was so worried it would be hard to find friends - again - especially since I was going to a nonmilitary school where most students had known one another forever. Luckily I had my trumpet. I had noticed that when I was at a new school, starting fresh all over again, it helped to have something familiar. My trumpet could accompany me wherever I went and that gave me confidence. When you are confident you have a positive glow that other people will be attracted to automatically. Having a hobby helps me meet people too.

No matter how much I bond with people, I still have moments when they’re all laughing about shared childhood memories and I have nothing to contribute. Still, I’ve learned that I don’t have to be shy about what makes me different - that’s what makes me interesting! When I tell people I was born in Germany or share my stories about going to elementary school in Japan, they’re immediately intrigued. Who else has had sushi in the school canteen, learned how to surf during P.E.¹or knows how to say basic things in three languages?

Now that I begin my senior year, I’m not as afraid as some of my classmates ‘to start all over again’ next fall when we will go to college. It’s always a little scary, but take it from me, you will soon make new friends. Just don’t forget to keep in touch with the old ones! I’ve got used to leaving familiar faces behind, but I have a lot of besties all over the world and we faceTime, Skype, text, and Snapchat. The sign of a good friend is when you can pick up where you left off, no matter how long it’s been. Not too many people have had to move seven times (and counting) in their life, but we’re all thrown into unfamiliar experiences at some point. Be open to them! Exciting things come when you go outside your comfort zone.”

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